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Anxiety and fear seems to be very strong. I know definitely there is a cure for this because I had 2 days of total bliss a few weeks after my awakening. It was like the higher source was letting me see how great life can be if I somehow conquer this. With meditation, I am able to go deep within me and listen to all my fears and see what is going on in my head.

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And if somehow I can conquer these fears, I will be free. It seems as though the universe is telling me, if I want freedom, this is what it takes.

Well, just wanted to share this and allow others to know that you are not alone. Knowing that has helped me through quite a few dark nights.

The struggle is real! But, so is the other side… just keep doing whatever practices resonate with you and you will be fine. Be well, and know you are never alone.

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I agree with all that is being said. Pingback: so now what? I am so happy this thread has remained active over the years, it feels really great to know others have experienced the same feelings. Beautiful experiences. One thing is very common. A last bit of frustration between dream and reality. This is for remainder of last bit of I. Give it up for eternity and in service of mankind. It makes different.

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You have discovered yourself in void and in reality. Helps the sleeping ones to wake up , this is your only job. Rest of the things will happen by itself. I had an experience of awakening when I was a young man, almost 40 years ago. None of these things brought that big moment back, and I developed a real resentment, a little personal pity party, against the plain facts of a pretty great life that is full and rich in so many ways.

I saw my life in the world as set apart from the life of being in the awakened state, and have had such longing to return to the state now for 40 years time. I blamed others for putting me in a situation where I felt I had to make money, support others, and deal with responsibilities instead of simply abiding in that state. Nothing about it made me special. I deeply appreciate this blog thread. I especially interested in checking out the book Spiritual Enlightenment, the Damnedest Thing. My experience was about 5 days of being inside of God— just in this powerful field of infinite, inter-connected love that I was within that included everything.

So joyful, so beautiful. An experience of being small part of something infinite, and connected without boundary as every part of it in a field of love. It may have been the Unitive experience, and not the experience of Truth described here. After 40 years of looking, one would think that I would have discovered some secret to enlightenment. But this is not the case.

I am and remain just a regular guy. The longing has not gone away, but I have been able recently to drop all the resentments about what life has handed me, and my thinking that it should be something else. I am about to launch a business helping lawyers find more benign ways of being who they are, and how they occur in the world, which does not center on the enlightenment experience at all, just a better and less violent way of ordering of the relative self.

I can teach that authentically, which is, I think, a great thing to be able to say. It is so comforting to read from others who are going through the isolation and loneliness after awakening. I pushed away those who have been toxic for me including my family and grown kids. So now where from here?. I want to rebuild my life with supportive relationships and perhaps a way to make a living that will be aligned with my purpose.

I agree completely. It is nice to know I am not alone though. Although in 9 years I have never met another awakened being in person. Then it all became quite lonely. There were several different stages that I went through. In a nut shell it is difficult. Living in a world where everything is so beautiful now. But society and other people make absolutely no sense to me anymore. When I woke up.

Starting with the wife, the job, the house, then eventually the kids. At each loss it captured my attention again for a few months at a time. Then I snap out of it.

Act I, scene ii

Loneliness is manageable at times. And is far better than slipping back into the dream. Although I think as a species and as consciousness. So there is a desire for someone to talk to who understands. It is one of the last remaining desires. All others have faded away.

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I commited myself to sanctification but kept hitting that wall that St. As a result of controlling, abusive, narcissistic parenting, I was deeply codependent, immersed in denial and fantasy. My subconscious beliefs about myself-unloveable, unworthy and my immobilized sense of self efficacy-were at odds with my conscious mind goals. Finally, I am at the point now where I am marshalling spirit, soul mind, will and emotions and body and emerging from my self-isolation and into the world again. All this to say, I believe a comprehensive awakening of the spirit, the conscious mind and the subconscious mind must take place before we can begin to walk the golden path in the sense we envision being the result of awakening.

God bless you. Peace, Lynn. Life After Awakening…It was when the seeker ceased seeking that the real fun began. I say that in, I could never have imagined what had followed.


Reality will stop at nothing to bring about the surrender to the resistance to life and I mean all of it. It was that intense loneliness that awakened me to eventually answer the call and say YES. I had multiple short awakening experiences over the years and then one day at 50 years old I woke up and stayed awake long enough to find out what happened. I immediately began to read everything I could about enlightenment, spiritual awakening, ego, non identification and everything else I could find to help me understand what happened.

A child experiences the world in the present moment. Here I am 5 years later trying to come to grips with the fact that I am now awake but no longer squinting from the bright light of the initial change in consciousness. What you experienced was your true self freed for a time from the misguided belief that you are a person named Ross Hostetter. This is known as remembering yourself and you can only remember yourself when your consciousness is in the present moment. There are many ways to work on becoming conscious of this realization and they all involve struggling against your minds repetitive thought patterns desire, negative emotion, judgement, blame… that keep you imprisoned in the lower state.

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We are unconscious of our true self while our minds dwell in the past or the future. I actually had to go to the therapist which helped me a lot, but it got so bad that I was having panic attacks number of times a day.. After controling it a little bit a started feeling this experience everyone in here is talking about, feeling connected with the world and feeling this bliss.. It is only a decision away. Hey Jeff, i can tell one thing that may help you,it works for me.

A Soul needs love,perfection,beauty,soul is holy because it is from GOD. Its normal. So try to remember not to go deeply. I use my full awareness for example if i am laying down on the beach watching the sunset, the surrounding is totally safe to let go of myself and attach with the universe because everything is perfect.

I do this also now because i am a bit more experienced in controlling my thoughts , i do it any place where i am curious to learn something from it that can help me build myself. For example last night i went with a couple of friends on the beach at night and there was a party there. I am not into loud music at all. So i sat down and i used my awareness and i started observing everyone.

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And this was scary, i was able to feel every person by just looking at them, and i was sure, inside myself,that even most of them looks like they are having fun, i can assure you that those people were suffering,i felt like they are lost. Read about it and good luck. Adriana, I know how you feel. The fear that you feel is your ego trying to take back control, because it knows that it is dying.

It actually feels like dying.