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The Writing Cooperative

How to write a joke

Submitted by: Janekt Ho A: Why are all those people running? B: They are running a race to get a cup. A: Who will get the cup? B: The person who wins. A: Then why are all the others running? Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks. Submitted by: Rizwana Lahore Pakistan Said to a railroad engineer: What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The reply from the railroad engineer: How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?

Submitted by Kyle Jefferson A: When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head, but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this? B: It's because your feet aren't empty.

Free association

Submitted by Kyle Jefferson Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself. Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies? Student: I don't know. Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from? Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.

4 Ways to Write a Comedy - wikiHow

Are you sick? It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing. Submitted by lisbeth A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke? B: Ok A: A white horse fell in the mud. Submitted by Robert Kenneth Peter Kroeker - age 21 A nervous old lady on a bus was made even more nervous by the fact that the driver periodically took his arm out of the window.

When she couldn't stand it any longer, she tapped him on the shoulder and whispered on his ear: "Young man I'll tell you when it's raining! Diez Cliville I used to be a werewoolf But I'm much better noooooooooooow! He's wearing shorts, sunglasses, a towel and listening to music on his walkman. He's having a good time.

Stand-Up 101: The Fundamentals

Suddenly he sees a caravan approaching. He stops the Arabs and ask them cheerfully: "Hey dudes how far is the sea? There is a frog in my soup!!! Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation. Submitted by Daniel Fernando Rodrigues One teacher said this to his students before the final test. God said to man So that you will love them. Man said to God But why did you make them so dumb? God said to man So that they will love you. Submitted by Esmond Jones. Knock Knock Who's there? Olive who?

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Olive you so much! I love you so much.. Submitted by Barbara S. Knock, knock. Who's there? Banana who? Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Submitted by Pat Bacon For advanced learners Early one morning, one of the gods was galloping around Mount Olympus. Invigorated by the brisk breeze, he shouted euphorically, "I'm Thor! Lockhart Did you hear about the skeleton who walked into a cafe?

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He ordered a cup of coffee and a mop. Submitted by C.

Keyes 1. Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard? Submitted by Leah Davis You can use this joke to explain that insulting someone is considered funny especially when that person is fishing for a compliment.

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  4. Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. Use only one central location for the sketch. This will allow you to maximize all the possibilities of one location for the sketch. Keep your cast of characters to between 1 and 3. Start by creating a two-minute sketch with 1 to 3 characters. If you are looking to sell your material to a network or studio, avoid including expensive props like a helicopter or a mechanical shark.

    7 Books To Read If You Want To Write Comedy For a Living

    Even if you are writing the sketch for a web series, you will likely not have the budget for expensive props or settings. There is no one way to write a comedy sketch, but there are several tried and tested formats, such as: [23] Escalation: A seemingly simple, funny idea starts small and gets bigger and bigger, ending in a chaos of absurd proportions.

    A good example of this would be the Mr. Show sketch about a pre taped call in show. Lists: A sketch where most of the dialogue is a long list of funny items. For example, their parody of medication commercials. Start with a simple premise or set up.

    In 8-ish steps

    A simple premise allows you to escalate and explore the situation throughout the sketch. This may come across as forced and you may end up with a one joke character. Try to create a multifaceted character who has several catchphrases. This way the audience is surprised by the character throughout the sketch.

    Brainstorm ideas with someone who makes you laugh. It can be difficult to write a comedy sketch on your own. Many successful comedy writers work with a writing partner or a room of other writers to come up with the best setups and punchlines possible. If you end up working with a writing partner, make sure you agree who is the head writer and who is the co-writer for a particular sketch. Work backwards. All sketches should have a strong finish. So think about the punchline first, before you write the beginning or middle of the sketch.

    Write the line immediately before the funny end line. Once you have the last ten seconds of the sketch, work on the beginning of the sketch. Work out loud. Say the lines out loud as you write them. Or read the sketch and act it out with your writing partner. Listen to how the character voices sound. Note where a pause or a physical action could amp up the laugh factor. Playing around with the character interactions and voices can lead to funny moments and make the sketch better. Edit and rework the sketch. Look over the completed sketch.